In the Event of Trauma, You May Find Love
by SymphonicMetalChocobos
Summary: It's always happened in the past, dark, bad things Xigbar tried to forget. Until Master Xehanort came back for more. Now, everything's changed for him. Roxas wants to help, but what if sex wasn't all Xehanort wanted? Yaoi, Rape. XigRoku and XehaXig.


Yay, finally got this out! I got the idea from... well, I don't remember besides thinking Master Xehanort was probably abusing Braig. Woo. AND IT'S OVER 10K WORDS~ Which means I completed a little personal goal of mine. :D Woo.

Gonna put a little WARNING right here: This story contains lots and lots of rape, as well as mentions of child molestation and rape. I MEAN LOTS. If you don't like reading this, I highly suggest clicking the back button. If not, READ ON, but I also warn, it's pretty graphic. If that also doesn't bother you, by all means, read on.

II~XIII~II~XIII

Xigbar grit his teeth and closed his eye with shame as he felt Master Xehanort push into him like so many times before, his face pressing into a hard bed. He hated it. Ten years passed and he was extremely strong, and he was still got raped; this was the fifth time in a row since he got abducted. Why did he go on the mission to Hollow Bastion when he had a bad feeling in his gut? Why didn't he just shirk his work? Why did he even get up out of bed? Why?

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_Even though he had a bad feeling settled in the pit of his gut, Xigbar kept on walking, deciding to head towards Ansem's tower since the Heartless didn't seem to be anywhere else. He leaned his head back leisurely, letting his ponytail tickle the very end of his back, not exactly paying any attention to his surroundings. Hollow Bastion was pretty peaceful and didn't have many Heartless, so he wasn't worried about anything except the bad feeling, but he tried to ignore it. As his boots made contact with the navy blue stone that made up the world's ground, heading past the archway towards the tower, Xigbar didn't expect to feel a sharp, tiny stinging sensation in his neck. Confused, he touched the sore spot, coming back with a tiny drop of blood on his hands but he just wiped it on his cloak. He had been hurt much worse than just a tiny prick. He made another step but he stumbled, falling into the wall. What the hell was happening? Xigbar's breathing seemed labored and as he looked around, shapes were becoming distorted and blurry, blending into abstract forms that didn't make any sense. He tried to take another step but his balance was off completely and he hadn't even realized he hit the ground until he realized he was looking at the ground, then up at someone but he couldn't move his body. It felt like all his muscles were totally numb and his mind was disjointed, muddled with clouds and fog. The sniper made a noise but he could barely hear himself from the incessant ringing in his ears. As his vision started to go black, his eye finally focused on the hazy figure above him but he went unconscious before he could recognize the man._

_When he finally woke up, his body was sluggish and it took a long time to realize why he couldn't see: it was pitch black. Where was he? He tried to feel around but he had restraints on, hands bound behind his back with what felt like rope but it was silky, but he couldn't tell what they were exactly. Xigbar was sitting on something that was hard but at the same time soft, like a bed. Dammit, what the hell happened to him? Last thing he remembered was walking around Hollow Bastion looking for a Heartless... He heard the soft rustle of clothing moving and he looked around, trying to figure out where the noise was coming from. He heard the sound of springs coiling and squeak, so he must have been on a mattress. Suddenly, there was a form near him, grabbing at him._

_"Get offa me!" Xigbar shouted as he felt hands on his body, trying to rip his pants off and unzip his cloak. He fidgeted and moved around rapidly attempting to fight off the unknown assailant. He turned some and tried to run his shoulder into the attacker but he hit air as he felt the hands around his ankles, dragging him closer to the edge of the bed. With a grunt, he kicked out, foot landing squarely on the chest of the attack which he could tell was male. Xigbar smirked but the smirk was broken when a fist made contact with his jaw, and he tasted blood from his lip. Whoever the man was, he was now on top of Xigbar, repeatedly punching him until blood was gushing from his nose and the sniper made an angry noise, finding that he was pinned and kicking out wasn't helping much. He had to pant but the Nobody kept fighting, attempting to headbutt the assailant but the person was smart and kept his head back. What the hell was happening? Xigbar didn't have any thoughts beside keep fighting, break free, but the guy grabbed his jaw with their entire hand, forcing him to look up at what might be the ceiling and he finally saw the gold eyes that belonged to the man he just couldn't forget._

_Oh god. Oh god, oh god, Oh god. Not him. Not... Master Xehanort._

_He bit down on Xehanort's hand, earning his jaw freedom but another fist made contact with his face. His heart began to beat faster and he recognized both his movements and Master Xehanort's. It was almost the same as over twelve years ago. _

_The first time he was raped, when he was eleven years old._

_Xigbar started fighting harder and harder, trying his hardest to escape from what he knew would happen if he didn't get away. _

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He felt the man hit him and force him into bruising kisses of tongue, felt rough hands wander his body and touch his most intimate places, and felt the man's hard dick push into his already violated asshole; it was the same as over nine years ago, only when he was Braig; it was long term abuse.. and rape. It was the only reason he stayed with the man; back then, he was weak, vulnerable, angry... and scared. The man lulled him into thinking he was going to give him power but it was all a farce. He was reliving the most horrible and worst moments of his life all over again and he couldn't do anything about it; he remembered everything. He was tied up, he was exhausted, the man made him ejaculate too many times, and the man was still stronger. When was he ever, ever going to get strong? He was tired of being weak. He shouldn't be getting raped; he was twenty seven years old, couldn't he handle himself? Was it even Master Xehanort's fault.. No, it was his. It was his fault he was still getting raped and it was his fault he wasn't strong. Xigbar only gulped when he felt Xehanort's rough hand touch his penis again, stroking him to make him hard again. Master Xehanort started feeling his ass and back again, making sure he touched every available inch of skin; stroking his penis, running his finger all over his testicles... It disgusted Xigbar. The squelching and slapping sounds made him want to vomit.

"I've missed your body... my dear Braig. I'm sure you've missed being my slut," Master Xehanort spoke close to his pointed ear, hot breath washing over him and Xigbar resisted cursing; if he remembered right, cursing and fighting only made Master Xehanort get rougher."Do you like what I'm doing? It's been a very long time, Braig; or should I call you by your current name, Xigbar?"

It was already painful and more humiliating than the first rape or any of the others, he didn't want to make it any worse, and he wasn't a damn slut. Xigbar blinked but he immediantly closed them when he felt fingers in his mouth; that was just to bait him, make him do something. The fingers brushed against his teeth, rubbed against his tongue which made him gag and twitch, and he heard that same harsh laugh. He hated this... he hated Master Xehanort... but more than anything, he hated himself for letting this happen again. He didn't even understand why Master Xehanort wanted him now; he was older, ten years older, and Master Xehanort liked young boys, l seventeen and under. Most of all, he didn't understand why he stayed loyal to the man, the guy who molested him and raped him, got him permanently injured and cause him all his problems. Xehanort kept thrusting into him, and they were getting harder and faster and it hurt, even though he was used to it. Xigbar felt his penis pivot, sometimes slapping against him. How could he forget the fact that Xehanort fed him some weird potion to make his dick much larger than normal and the effect was permanent; Xehanort had many disgusting fetishes.

The sniper furrowed his brow when Xehanort pulled out abruptly, and he was thankfully left empty of the man's seed unlike the other four times. He still felt sticky, viscous semen oozing out from inside himself, dripping down his legs and genitals; the man beefed himself up with potions that made him longer, thicker, and ejaculate more. Xigbar hoped Xehanort was done, finished with him, but he truthfully, he didn't expect him to be. What little hopes he had dwindled when he was flipped onto his back, and his gold eye met with Xehanort's for a split second. He wanted to close them and not give the man the satisfaction of seeing the emotions hidden in his eye, but he couldn't bring himself too, so he gave a harsh glare instead. Xehanort punched him across the face and Xigbar felt the taste of copper; that punch meant another bruise. The sniper was forced into another horrid kiss, but he knew better than to fight, so he just let it happen, trying to block out the feeling of the Keyblade master's tongue sweeping around inside his mouth. Fortunately, the kiss was brief. Xigbar let his eyes wander, trying not to look Xehanort in the eye, looking at how his pants and underwear were gone, his erection, Xehanort's, and the dried blood and semen on the inside of his legs. He watched as Xehanort moved away, massive erection bouncing slightly. Xigbar grunted when Master Xehanort grabbed the front of his unzipped cloak, forcing him to sit up and adjust the way he sat; he knew what was coming. The bed was low, so his face was directly in Xehanort's crotch.

"I haven't let you taste me yet," Xehanort mused, stroking his beard."I bet you've forgotten, haven't you? Well, I'll definitely remind you. Maybe you're return to me... I've never had such a delicious flesh before. You even beat out the younger boys, Braig. Oh yes.. I remember you enjoyed the taste of my semen."

"I didn't," Xigbar let the words come out, growling. He hated when Xehanort lied about what he liked; how could anyone like it when they were forced. He could remember the sticky, white liquid sliding down his throat, on his face, and it tasted of salt and something he couldn't recognize. It was absolutely nasty. If he had someone he loved, he probably wouldn't mind but after Xehanort started touching him, then raping him, he was never able to have a healthy sex life, or even a healthy life at that; everything was ruined.

Instinctively, Xigbar clenched his teeth tight when Xehanort's dick moved closer to his face and he clenched them as tight as possible when the head of the man's penis pressed against his front teeth, vying for entrance he didn't want to give. Deep inside, he knew fighting was useless, Master Xehanort always got what he wanted... but he had to try a little bit. Fingers gripped his jaw, digging in and trying to make him open his mouth while their owner kept moving his penis against his mouth and teeth but Xigbar kept his teeth clenched until Xehanort decided to slap him and in the moment Xigbar's mouth came open, the man slipped himself inside, making him gag and choke on the beefed up cock. He wanted to bite down but Xehanort's cock was much too thick and wide, and all he could do was give muttered coughs as the cock easily reached the back of his throat; he gagged, hoping he wouldn't vomit, which meant he most likely would choke... or throw up on Xehanort. He almost wished he would choke and die, just so he would be over with it; it wasn't like he had anything to life for but it wasn't him. Xigbar felt a familiar salty taste at the back of his throat and he growled against the cock filling his mouth.

"Why don't you be a good slut and suck?" Master Xehanort said with eyebrows just barely raised but face impassive as ever, gold eyes looking at Xigbar as if he was nothing more than a piece of meat. He was enjoying this more than the first time he raped Braig. Back then, he saw the fear and shame in Braig's eyes but now, the shame has doubled and fear was replaced by anger and rage; it was delicious. He usually stuck to younger boys but Braig, he just couldn't leave him alone even though he was much too old for his taste. Braig.. or should he say, Xigbar, was an adult; adult body, adult face, adult body hair, and was no longer a child, or even a teenager. Braig was the best time of his entire life, a teenager who had a dysfunctional past and never had a father figure in his life, no real direction and a need for power, a need to not feel so weak and helpless. He took advantage of that and it was worth it to feel that smooth skin, touch places that were still growing, hear that voice that was mature yet didn't hold the full, rich tone of an adults, begging for him to stop. He had started molesting Braig at a young age, ten years old, still a child yet about to begin changing into an adult, then began the real fun at eleven. Braig was young, vulnerable, hairless, and believed anything he said; the promises of power, how he was going to protect him and love him... Well Xehanort did, in his own way. Xehanort gave a sneer when Xigbar resisted him, so he gave a rough thrust, making the man choke and he couldn't help but chuckle when Xigbar did as he said and began to slowly suck his erection.

"Good boy.."

No matter what happened between them, Braig had always obeyed, just like Xigbar was doing now. It was nice to see some things hadn't changed. Looking at Xigbar's body, the way his jaw was squarer, the muscles, his chest hair and public hair.. it didn't turn him on at all. He had half a mind to shave him so he could get as turned on as possible, but seeing the familiar emotions in the man's now gold eye, the submission, that potion's permanent effect, and just the _feel _of his skin, those things tuned him on enough. He briefly wondered why Xigbar grew out his hair into that long ponytail but maybe he did so because he didn't care anymore. Being sexually abused from a young age had an profound effect on one. He pulled out, rubbing his entire length against Xigbar's face, against his nose, near his eye, and over his mouth, smearing his pre-cum all over the man's face; even then, Xigbar clenched his teeth, closing his gold orb so none of Master Xehanort's liquid got in his eye. It had got in once before and it burned like hell.

The feeling of that hard, hot skin against his rough skin, rubbing and dragging across his facial features, leaving clear, viscous pre-cum in its wake; it felt disgustingly familiar. Even with his teeth gritted, Xigbar still tasted horrid salt in his mouth that slipped in and he let a growl rise from his throat, earning a mocking scoff. The liquid slid slowly down his face, his neck, and chest; Xigbar wanted to wipe it away, but he couldn't.

Master Xehanort began to stroke the base of his cock, finding that he was close to release with the heat pooling in his gut. The silver haired man let out a breath, pleasantly enjoying the tiny reactions and emotions filtering from his fuck toy that one could almost miss; he could tell the Nobody was trying to keep any emotion inside. Just to make Xigbar feel even worse, Xehanort began petting his head, running his fingers through the familiar black hair that was now streaked with silver, not because of stress but from darkness he nurtured from a young age. He was drawing ever close to another release, thankful that the special potion increased his sexual properties, so he wouldn't have to stop the _fun _just because he couldn't release anymore.

Xigbar didn't open his eyes as Master Xehanort's grunts increased in volume and he braced himself when a drawn out groan reached his ears. He clenched his eye closed as he felt strand after strand of Xehanort's thick cum plop onto his face, landing on his forehead, hair, nose, cheeks, on his mouth and hitting the dried blood, chin, and he was thankful his eye was closed when some landed directly on his eyelid. He coughed and sneezed when he accidentally inhaled some of the liquid into his nose, some of the seed getting in his mouth and he made a loud, disgruntled noise, trying to spit it out. The Nobody lowered his head; it was the completely humiliating.

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_Xigbar let out a muffled snarl as Master Xehanort captured his lips, immediately shoving his tongue inside his mouth and it felt like a wet, slimy slug digging around in his mouth. He tried to kick the man off but the way the Keyblade wielder was straddling him, only his knees hit the man's back and that didn't deter him. Those rough hands went at his pants again, unbuttoning the black leather pants and unzipping them quickly. He groaned into Xehanort's mouth, twisting his body left and right, bucking his hips, anything to try and get the man off. He shook his head back and forth, finally forcing Master Xehanort to break the kiss and he spat on the bed, trying to get the foul spit out of his mouth. The sniper froze when he felt the tongue that assaulted his mouth trail up the side of his face where his scar was, from his jaw to behind his ear, Xehanort licking behind his ear and all over. That made him fight harder, and he earned a punch to his neck, knocking the wind out of him and temporaily stopping his breathing. He started kicking again but he got another punch, this time to the rib cage. The Nobody's breath hitched when Master Xehanort's hand squeezed his balls through his pants, and he snarled, trying to slam his head into the man. He didn't want this to happen again. He couldn't let it happen again._

_"No!" He yelled out, snarling, trying his hardest to fight Master Xehanort off._

_He couldn't let himself be raped again. It would mean he hadn't changed in nine years, hadn't gotten any stronger, and it would be humliating. He just couldn't let it happen... He wasn't Braig anymore. _

_The sniper fought harder, but he had his hair fisted and his face slammed into the bed repeated, making his vision sparkle with rainbow colored orbs, and his nose began to bleed again, dribbling down his face and on to the bed. Master Xehanort took the chance to turn the lights on with a snap of his fingers, then tear at Xigbar's pants again, smirking as he started pulling them down against the man's will. Despite the fidgeting and kicking, Xehanort managed to get the leather pants down to Xigbar's thighs and he couldn't resist running a hand along the inside of the sniper's thigh and he smirked at the familiar skin, but he frowned when he unzipped the man's cloak, where there was a patch of growing hair. _

_Disgusting; he didn't quite like that. _

_._

_._

Master Xehanort forced Xigbar took look up at him, fingers gripping the man's jaw, and he raised a eyebrow. The distant, hidden emotions in Xigbar's eye had changed to something he didn't bother recognizing. He almost wondered in he should send Xigbar back to... Organization XIII, that was the name of the group he was in, but that wouldn't be any fun. What could he do now? He had already had his way with Xigbar a few times and gotten a sub-par blowjob from him. Well, he could always have another few more rounds of sex before dropping him back at that dark and gloomy castle. He would rather keep Xigbar with him for the time being, but it would be better for him and his plans if released the sniper. He had to admit, he was proud of Xigbar for lasting so long without him. Unfortunately, it was time to send Xigbar back now. Abruptly, Xehanort grabbed Xigbar by his dual toned hair, cruelly pulling him and sending him crashing head first into the cold, almost glass like floor that was colored black and purple swirling together. Xehanort admired his work for a few minutes, pressing his boot against Xigbar's back enough to keep him down but not bruise. His golden eyes looked over the sniper's body, at the dried blood and semen on his legs and the bruises his hands made; he wondered how much pain Braig was in, how ashamed he was.

Xigbar grit his teeth as he was pulled to his feet by his hair, grunting when some was pulled out, and made to face his abuser. He averted his eyes, and earned a slightly amused chuckle, not wanting to even look in the shorter man's direction, so he looked at the wall to his right, eye ablaze with a plethora of hidden emotions. The sniper felt eyes looking over his body and he let out a breath, only one thought going through his mind- it was finally over. He gulped not in fear but in shame, the familiar whooshing noise of a Corridor of Darkness dancing into his ears, which meant he was going somewhere. He felt his restraints being removed and for a split second, he wondered if he should attack Master Xehanort, but he was so exhausted, he could barely move a muscle.

"As much as it pains me," Xehanort spoke with sarcasm lacing his voice."I must let you go, Braig." Xehanort thought about adding that he would see him again, but his return was a surprise for another time; not to mention he still had a few things to research. This planned meeting was very... enlightening to him, and he was able to confirm a few important aspects for his plan. He would need to research just a tiny bit more with these results before he could capture his favorite slut again.

A surprised gasp escaped Xigbar's mouth as he was suddenly pushed back into the Corridor of Darkness, back colliding with something chilly and hard that felt like metal; it felt the floor of the Castle That Never Was. He kept his eyes closed as he felt his cloak make contact with his face, masking his view, then his pants, and the slightly loud thump of his boots sounding like they were tossed in some random corner of the room. The Corridor of Darkness closed, and for a minute, all Xigbar did was lay there in complete shock, barely able to comprehend what exactly happened before a wave of anger flowed through him, then a wave of shame. The bruised sniper pulled his cloak from his upper body, greeted with the warm glow of his red and orange lava lamps. Slowly, he got to his feet, every motion sending a flood of pain through him as he picked up his pants, but his underwear were no where to be found; Master Xehanort had taken them, but he didn't want them back. He looked around his room, at his bright orange walls, his bed, then his closet, nightstand, and finally, the small, square table and chair in the top right corner of his room; he let his fingers brush against his bed, feeling the metal. Without a word, Xigbar opened a Corridor of Darkness, stepping through it and into the floor's bathroom, bare feet making contact with the tile floor.

The Organization's bathrooms were somewhat public, with four shower stalls on the north wall, sinks to the left, and two cabinets to the right; the setup was odd since the actual bathrooms were a door over. Xigbar stumbled over to the first shower stall, tossing his dirty clothes behind a part of the wall that stuck out, making a nice alcove. He jerked the stall's glass door open, stepping inside, closing the door, and immediantly turning the water on to hot.

The steadily warming water pelted Xigbar's bruised and battered body, and he looked up, eye closed as he left the water flow over his face, slowly rinsing off the dried blood, as well as both fresh and dried semen from various parts of himself. Even the water itself stung, the clear droplets streaming down over every bruise. He used his hand to help rinse off the semen on his face, legs, and on his chest, where both Xehanort's and his mixed.

Xigbar watched the blood and semen mix with the water, turning it a pinkish red as it swirled down the drain; soap was plucked from the small dish attached to the wall. He almost used the cloth, but instead, he grabbed the small hand sized brush from the larger dish in the corner, rubbing the soap on it to make a lather. He wanted it off. He wanted all the filth off…everything. His hair came down, sticking to his back, and he snarled. He let this happen to him. Whose fault was it? His? Master Xehanort's? Xemnas' for sending him on the mission? He had no idea how long he had even gone, what day it was. Maybe it was his fault for not paying attention to his gut. He pretty much let it happen, and he didn't fight nearly enough; so what if he got punched a few times, he had been hit by worse, so he should have fought harder.

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_Oh god…Everything hurt…it hurt so bad...The tattered, much too large shirt, was slipping off Braig's small but broad, bruised shoulders, and he could barely walk from the intense pain radiating from his backside. Every wobbly step sent a wave of pain through his prepubescent body, and the black haired boy almost fell into a pillar when he stumbled. Crimson slid down his legs like clear crystalline tears slid down his face flushed with fear and embarrassment, as well as confusion. He didn't understand what just occurred in the slightest. His shoeless feet touched the grass lit up by Radiant Garden's moonlight, quickly being covered in dew as he left a trail of blood through the castle gardens._

_His thin arms had deep bruises on his wrists where that man...Master Xehanort held him down, and h-hurt him...The man ripped his clothes off and was touching him rougher than before and put his hands all over his body and then he...he…he put his... penis in him.. His butt hurt so bad and he bled. What happened to him? What happened? He tried so hard to fight back, to kick and punch at the silver haired male, but nothing worked. The much older man was too strong for him even though he had been training. He was so confused and scared, and even then, he was still the slightest bit angry at himself and Master Xehanort. Part of him felt like it was his fault, that maybe he made the Keyblade Master angry, that he did something wrong, that he failed.._

_Braig let out a broken sob as he staggered, scared to death. He wanted to get away, had get away from that bad man who hurt him. Every part of his body was in pain from getting smacked around, punched, bitten... and violated. His butt hurt so bad._

_The boy sobbed constantly as he limped through the massive garden, ignoring the many passageways past some of the pillars, the emerald green grass, the flower bushes, solely focusing on running away as more blood streamed down his legs. Why did Master Xehanort do that to him? Xehanort promised to protect him and love him and keep him safe... so why did he hurt him?_

_Quivering as if he was freezing, Braig's shattered, anguish and slight anger filled sobs were the only sound in the garden besides crickets, and he let out a cry when he tripped on a rock, twisting before he fell onto his side, crying harder. He was on his feet in a few minutes when he heard faint footsteps, which meant Master Xehanort was coming for him._

_Despite the pain, he picked up his pace, full out running. Braig turned a corner, and sprinted down a passageway, new tears flowing over dried tears. He barely knew where he was going, it was so dark. Master Xehanort's nasty words were going through his young, confused mind._

_"Do you like my cock, boy?"_

_"You like it rough like this?"_

_"Mmm, your skin is just delectable..."_

_"I bet me touching your penis feels quite good, Braig."_

_Cock? Rough? No, he didn't like any of it! He hated it! It was painful; it made him feel dirty and gross all over! There was so much nasty, sticky white stuff on his legs and some on his face, and it felt like slime... It tasted horrible, like pure salt and tangy stuff..._

_Tears were falling faster as his bare feet slapped against the beige and silver stone, passing a few empty rooms and other passageways. Where could he go? Where? Could he hide? Would Master Xehanort find him? He didn't know what to do besides run! He was so scared…He didn't want to have that pain again! His icky red blood was on his legs. Master Xehanort hit him, held him down, touched those special places he knew the man shouldn't be touching yet he had let the silver haired man touch him before. He fought but his mentor was too strong... He wanted to be strong. Braig suddenly ducked down a side passage, and he kept trying doors; the doorknob jingled, and it was locked._

_The black haired boy tried four doors before he finally found a supply room that was open and he slipped it, leaving the door cracked. It was dark, but he saw a big, old, brown cabinet made of wood and he opened the door. The eleven year old stepped in, closing the big, creaking doors behind him, a tiny ray of light filtering in through the tiny cracks in the wood. Please don't let him find him, please don't let him find him, please don't let him find him..._

_The silence was deafening, and the only sound Braig heard was his thundering heart, even with his hands over his ears, knees pressed against his chest, not caring that he had no pants or underwear on. He was... so tired, exhausted, sleepy._

_Braig's entire bruised body ached, and he could still feel blood seep from between his legs, genitals covered in blood, his blood. Master Xehanort said that he liked the feel of his small penis, his tan skin, smooth black hair, his sweet ass- _

_Braig screamed when the doors were flung open, light bathing him, then Master Xehanort's shadow. _

_"You've been a bad boy Braig. How about I help you be a good boy?"_

_"NO! Please no, Master Xehanort! Let me go! Master Xehanort!" Braig continued screaming, fighting as he was lifted up and slung over the Keyblade Master's shoulder, and torn from the cabinet that he hid in._

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All of a sudden in a burst of pure rage, Xigbar began fiercely scrubbing his chest as hard as possible, the brush's bristle sliding across his chest harder and harder, trying to clean the dried cum off himself. He ran it over his arms, and his thighs, then back to his chest, using both hands to force the brush down on himself. It hurt but he didn't feel it... or maybe Xigbar didn't pay attention.

The scrubbing sound went on for a few minutes before Xigbar finally halted, letting the brush fall from his hand and hit the smooth, white shoulder floor. That's when the sniper noticed the blood slipping down the drain, and the bright crimson staining his hands. It was blood, his blood. Xigbar touched his chest, looking down to see his chest was now bleeding. He had literally scrubbed himself raw. His skin was broken and torn where the brush bristles had ripped through from the force, and blood was slowly seeping out. The brush's bristles were no longer almost transparent beige, but dyed red and pink from his blood. His chest sent burning paint throughout his body and he turned the water off slowly, trying not to move more than he needed to; every part of his body ached horribly. The sniper opened the shower door and staggered out onto the white tile floor, dripping blood and water in his path. He stumbled over to the counter, first grabbing a towel before he pressed it to his chest to stop the blood; immediantly, he hissed in pain but he held it there despite the searing pain. Great, another injury and this time, it was self inflicted. He never hurt himself, but then again he was just.. No. Looking up in the mirror, he looked almost shocked at his image, tan skin littered with bruises, from under his eye and nose, to fist shaped contusions on his chest, imprints on his wrists from the restraints, and below.

Xigbar loathed what he looked like, beaten and exhausted. He was strong, hell, he was one of the strongest members, the big bad Number II of Organization XIII and an exceptional sniper. How could he be raped again, as an adult? It...it was impossible. He wasn't raped, he couldn't have been. He was much too strong to be raped. He was always a top in the bedroom, always someone who was at the top at anything he did; he was the chief, the general, the dominant one. He wasn't submissive in the slightest, and he certainly wasn't a bottom. He couldn't possibly be raped. No, what happened to him, it was just a dream, it had to be; the bruises came from something else and the rape was just a violent hallucination from his past. He was fine... he was fine…he was-

The sound of breaking glass hit his ears and suddenly, pieces and chunks of the mirror rained down on the counter, tinkling into the sink, rattling onto the pale yellow counter, and clattering onto the tile floor. The sniper hadn't even realized his knuckles were broken, or that glass was embedded in the skin and muscle of his dominant hand, his left, until he saw the blood steadily running off his hand and dripping onto the counter. Bright, bright crimson that resembled water, that held life, steadily pouring from him as pain spiraled forth from his hand.

Xigbar backed away from the counter, clutching his now injured hand as he groaned when the pain finally hit him, stepping on some glass that had traveled, but the adrenaline pulsing through him kept the pain in the very back of his mind. There was a trail of blood from the counter to where Xigbar stopped. Was this really happening? Was he really raped? Could it really have happened again? Why... It didn't even make sense. His lone eye locked onto the blood on his left hand, and he had a deep, anger-filled frown settled on his face. He couldn't tell any one, he couldn't never say a word. He couldn't go to the infirmary either, not until the bruises were gone. No one could ever know what…happened. The memories of his sexual abuse were fresh in his mind, swirling around and biting at him, making him see them in the darkness every time he blinked, a different one each time; all of them were equally horrible, so it was random. He tried to block them out; he didn't want to remember, he didn't even want to think about what happened.

Xigbar walked back to the counter, grabbing a towel from the cabinet and he wrapped it around his knuckle as tight as possible, hissing when the glass dug into him more, but he needed to stop the blood; he grabbed a second towel for his chest as well. His movements were careless, like he was a person with a major headache who just needed to sit down, and he opened a portal to his room, but not without collecting his clothes first. He would hide that set of clothes, never wear them again, never touch or see them again. His knuckle hurt like hell, aching and burning from both the broken bones and the glass. All he could do now was clean himself up. Xigbar's wet hair stuck to his back, and he noticed he had tracked water over the bathroom but he didn't care. The sniper meant to open a portal directly into his room, but when he stepped through tiredly, he appeared outside his room much to his dismay. He couldn't let anyone see him. After looking around to make sure no one was walking the hall after he smashed the mirror, he ducked in as quick as possible, the motion making droplets of blood splatter onto the smooth, white floor outside his room. He tracked a mixture of blood and water into his room, long hair sticking to his still wet body as he nearly stumbled over to his closet as if he was drunk. He ripped the door open, tossed his dirty clothes in and then grabbed a pair of boxers, slipping them on angrily despite the fact that he was soaking wet. He had to get rid of those clothes; bury them, burn them, hid them, whatever, they just had to go, but not tonight... All he wanted to do was sleep.

The sniper's hand and chest were bursting with waves of agonizing pain that dug into his entire body, blood sliding down his chest as well as slipping into the towel on his hand, but it didn't come close to the internal conflict erupting inside his mind. Breathing fitfully, almost erratically, Xigbar stood over his bed, setting the clean towel on his nightstand, trying to keep the memories from earlier out of his mind, but it was nearly impossible. They were like an animal they kept coming back for more attacks, replaying in his mind like a movie. The disgusting things Master Xehanort did to him, his tough hands all over his body, calling him despicable names, the memories of what couldn't be considered a childhood in the slightest, all snarling at him and fighting for a chance for him to see them over and over. Xigbar's skin crawled at the thought of Xehanort, and he resisted slamming his hand into his lava lamps out of anger; he wanted the memories to _stop, _dammit. Groaning softly under his breath, Xigbar sat down on his bed, pain shooting up his spine like a bolt of lightning. Carefully, Xigbar pulled the bloody towel off his bleeding hand, exposing his sliced knuckles complete with small and large shards of glass jutting from the torn muscle and had to get the glass out and get some sort of care, but all he wanted to do was sleep and forget what happened.

His fingers grazed against the first shard of glass and immediately, he hissed in pain as he held it between his index finger and thumb. No.. he had to go to sleep; he was exhausted. In an utterly exhausted fashion, Xigbar slowly laid down, wet hair splaying on his pillow, making the black and orange comforter damp; he didn't bother pulling the blankets back, just turned his head towards the large open window. He took the new towel and laid it on his also bleeding chest, each breath making his torso ache. Xigbar stared out, barely able to keep his sliced up hand on his injured chest, so he decided to rest his hand on his stomach, but even that simple movement gave him excruciating pain. The man closed his lone golden eye but after only a few seconds, memories began to assault him and his eye shot open. Did the beginning of his day really happen? Was it even possible? He was strong, he worked out as well as did his missions beating down heartless, experienced in some self defense but maybe his past kept him from really fighting him off... He couldn't have been raped again, not by him or anyone else; he didn't want to say the silver haired man's name. It didn't happen, it didn't, it didn't, it didn't. If it had, he would have fought the attacker off and got away. It just wasn't possible... His abuse ended a long time ago, even if the memories and the after effects didn't. His uninjured hand traced one of the bruises on his left arm, and he grunted at the pang of pain. The bruises were real, but... the rape couldn't of been; it had to have been a violent hallucination. Maybe when he woke up, everything would be fine and could go back to normal. As he laid there, another memory came into his head, and he tried to force it to the back of his mind. The man was already so damn tired of all the near constant memories assaulting him.

Again the sniper ran a hand over one of the bruises on his face, pressing in and trying to cause pain for the sole reason of checking whether this was all a dream; there was a wave of extra pain besides the deep aching, and he gave a pained sigh; he could barely move from all the constant agony. Of the times he dreamed, there was enevitable violence, but he never felt any real physical pain during the dream, only after; even then, the pain was never like this and he never had real injuries. His horrific nightmares were like movies where he was watching everything from a first-person view, watching Master Xehanort abuse him repeatedly and because it was a dream, he couldn't do anything about it; it was purely excruciating to see after it happened. But maybe everything that happened wasn't a dream. Xigbar's blood seeped into the towel on his chest, some from his hand spilling onto his stomach.

As Xigbar laid on his bed bathed in the warm light of his lava lamps, entire body clothed in a horrid deep, aching from his face to his ass. He figured his nose could be broken, but he couldn't recall if he saw in the mirror, and between the pain of his body, he couldn't tell.

After what felt like hours, Xigbar finally ended up succumbing to a deep slumber, but it was more like he passed out from pain and exhaustion.

.

.

A surge of fear raced through Roxas as he finally leaped out of bed, the initial shock of hearing such a sudden, alarming crashing noise still fluttering through his teenage body even though the noise had passed; it was only a few minutes ago yet it felt like an hour. It was unusual for there to be any loud sounds at night seeing as there were no animals, nothing but silence and occasional snores. What if the noise had been an intruder, or worse, someone collapsed and was hurt? He stepped over to his bedroom door quietly, opening it, and slipping out into the pearly white hallway' he shivered when his bare feet hit the smooth, cold surface. His brow furrowed as he tip toed down the hallway, making his way towards the Organization's showers, one of the only places in the castle and close to his room that has glass; the noise was loud, so he figured it was close to his room. He passed the rooms of Demyx, Xaldin, and Luxord, approaching the bathroom which was placed in between the members rooms; three members on the left and the three on the right, though the other members rooms were on the floor above. His heart was pounding furiously against his ribcage, and the blond gulped, wondering if he would find someone injured or dead, or someone trying to steal from the Organization. As Roxas stepped closer to the bathroom, he could see the door was closed, but that didn't mean someone wasn't inside. For protection, his summoned his keyblade in a flash of white light, feeling the blade materialize in his hand, and he gripped the metal blade tight. There was a soft click as Roxas turned the knob and stepped in; immediately, his crystalline eyes widened, and he gasped, shocked at the sight of the shower room.

The bathroom was in shambles. Glass was scattered all over the white tile and the mirror was ultimately destroyed, with a large hole in the center with hundreds of cracks branching out from it. One of the shower stalls was open, and Roxas could barely see a bit of dried blood near the drain. Water was all over the floor, in a path from one of the showers to the counter, and back, and deep crimson blood was mixed in with it; there was some on the counter, even a tiny, dried amount on what was left of the mirror as well. What in the hell happened here... It was like some animal or person went on a rampage. Slowly, Roxas stepped into the messy bathroom, looking around at the damage while trying not to slip on the water. Someone had to be hurt, but who? He hadn't hurt anything besides the crashing noise which had to have been the mirror shattering; it looked like someone punched it out. Walking around the blood and water, a stupefied Roxas stepped over to the only open shower stall, and he stared down at a bloody bristle brush used for washing ones hair, baffled. It looked as if someone used the brush to scrub themselves until they bled. He couldn't even begin to understand what had happened, only that it appeared as if someone had a breakdown or just got angry, but he didn't hear anything except the crash; no screaming, no swearing, nothing.

Roxas suddenly gulped at the sight, turning away. He had to investigate this... With this much blood, someone was definitely hurt, but who? The only people he didn't remember seeing throughout the day were Lexaeus, but he came back, and Xigbar, who no one had seen the entire day. The sniper was supposed to go defeat a huge heartless and so far, no one saw him return; maybe this was his blood and maybe he took out the mirror... If it was, he couldn't just leave the man to bleed if he hadn't gotten help, especially since punching a mirror could mean he broke a bone or two. He decided he would check on Xigbar and if it wasn't his, maybe try and go back to sleep unless he saw a sign it was someone else's. He took deep breaths, moving away from the concentration of blood and water, and towards the door. Roxas thought about cleaning up the bathroom, but ifXigbar was hurt, that took priority. The sniper was wasn't exactly his friend but at least he was nice to him unlike most of the other members, and he didn't want him bleeding or injured. The Keyblade wielder hurried to exit the bathroom without cleaning it, instead, closing the door and heading down the hallway towards Xigbar's room. The blond heard soft snoring coming from Lexaeus' room when he passed, but he kept on going, keeping his Keyblade out just in case. If Xigbar did get hurt, and punched the mirror out, what could have caused him to do that? Frustration? But that didn't make sense... he rarely saw the man's emotions unless he teased, laughed, or grinned, and then, it was mostly slight happiness; but then again, he wasn't around Xigbar much since he mainly hung out with Axel, and Demyx if the redhead wasn't around.

As Roxas approached Xigbar's room, he could see droplets of blood splattered on the floor and some on the walls; Oh god, that wasn't a good sign. The sniper had to be hurt, but why didn't he do anything? He just bled all over the bathroom and shower stall, and seemed like he didn't even patch himself up unless he was bleeding profusely. If that was the case, that was even worse. The blond ran up to the door marked with the roman numerals for two, quietly opening the door in case Xigbar was asleep. When the door came open fully, Roxas' gained another horrible sight worse than the bathroom, one that would be etched into his memory. His blue orbs immediately locked onto a slumbering Xigbar's mangled hand, then the bloody towel resting on his chest, and finally, the plethora of bruises scattered over his body. What in the hell happened to him? And why hadn't he gotten treatment? His Keyblade disappeared and he went back to the bathroom through a portal to grab a first aid kit, returning within a couple of minutes, then closing Xigbar's bedroom door. The only noises in the room where the sound of Roxas' bare feet hitting the ground, and the sniper's pained breathing. Roxas gulped as he sat the first aid kit on the damp bed, gagging when he saw the pieces of glass jutting from Xigbar's knuckles, the broken, bloody skin; he had to get the glass out and bandage him up. For some reason besides just being kind, the blond was driven to patch the man up. Seeing Xigbar injured like this, seeming like he didn't even bother to help himself, it just made Roxas' heart skip a beat and his breath hitch. Gulping again, his gently gripped one of the pieces of glass, earning a groan from a sleeping Xigbar, and he pulled it out in one quick motion.

"Kingdom Hearts... Xigbar, what happened to you?" Roxas softly muttered under his breath as he removed another piece of glass from said sniper's knuckle, fresh blood spilling out now that the vein wasn't blocked. The first aid kit came open and he took out a few packages of non-stick gauze as he took out yet another shard of glass; in all, he pulled out around eleven pieces total, maybe more if there were tiny shards embedded in his skin as well. The blond's finger brushed against Xigbar's bruised wrist and his eyes widened when the man flinched hard in his sleep, grunting softly. Briefly, Roxas let his eyes linger on the blood on his fingers before he took one of the gauze patches, ripping it open before he laid it on Xigbar's knuckles gently; they appeared to be broken so the sniper had to go see Vexen soon. He put three more gauze squares on before he grabbed a roll of white, cloth bandages. He gently lifted up the man's hand, trying not to jostle him as he slowly wrapped the bandages around Xigbar's hand, making sure it was tight but not too tight. When Roxas finished, he snipped the bandages off with some scissors in the kit, using the gauze tape to keep the bandages down, before laying the sniper's hand by his side; he watched the man jump in his sleep and just barely mumble something under his breath. Now, the teenager had to move onto his chest, whatever might have happened. With Xigbar's hand out of the way, Roxas was able to begin carefully peeling the blood covered towel from his chest; when it came off, he immediately gagged a second time, gasping softly. The skin on his chest was lacerated, and something clicked in Roxas mind; the wounds looked like they had been made by the bristle brush he saw. Had Xigbar been attacked, or had he done this to himself? The teenager didn't know the answer. This was going to be more difficult... Xigbar didn't need stitches but he needed more gauze, plus, he couldn't turn the man over to bandage him. But, he could just cut off pieces and use gauze tape to attach the bandages.

It made Roxas feel horrible to see Xigbar's extensive injuries.

"No... no... get 'way from me...Don't.. touch..." Xigbar muttered under his breath while he was asleep, shaking his head slightly, and Roxas flinched at his sudden statement.

"Oh, Xigbar, I'm sorry, I..." Roxas trailed off when he noticed Xigbar's eyes were still closed, breathing har; he saw sweat bead at the man's forehead.

Was... Xigbar having a nightmare?

He bit his bottom lip as he his mind processed what Xigbar said in his slumber, and he wanted to know what the sniper was talking about. He would ask Xigbar tomorrow, but the man needed some serious rest without someone pestering him with questions he might not answer; he never talked about how his face got scarred so Roxas doubted Xigbar would say anything about what caused his intense bruises, or why he hurt himself, if he did, but that was what mostly likely happened.

The teenager pulled out the last ten gauze squares, a roll of gauze tape, and a second roll of bandages. He used a small cloth from the kit to try and soak up as much blood as he could before he began to slowly place the white squares on Xigbar's chest. A quiet, pained groan came from Xigbar, and Roxas' brow furrowed. He knew the Heartless might have done this but somehow, that just seemed unlikely. Most Heartless had claws that left scratch marks, not fists that made bruises that he guessed where the size of a human's hand, but maybe that was the case and the sniper was just distracted or careless during the battle, even though that didn't make sense; Xigbar was always focused on the task at hand and almost never got hit in battle. For a moment, he let his hand ghost over the man's chest. He slowly placed the squares in the sniper's chest, some of them immediately soaking up a bit of blood, finding that he needed more than just ten but he could just use more of the white bandages. Roxas rolled out a long piece of bandage, using his teeth to nip off the part he needed; he laid it on the first row of gauze squares before taping it down with four pieces of tape, two on each side of Xigbar's chest. There was another groan from Xigbar and he flinched in his sleep again, muttering something unintelligible. As he laid another row of squares on the sniper's chest, he snipped off another section and he wondered what Xigbar was dreaming about, if it was horrific or just some random dream. The strip of bandage was laid on the new row of gauze gently, taping it down. Roxas was finished in another seven minutes, successfully using up the entire roll of bandages.

Roxas let out a deep sigh, closing his eyes and making sure he didn't wipe his forehead with his bloody, gloved hands.

The bloody towels were tossed in the waste bin in the top left corner of Xigbar's room, as well as the wrappers for all the gauze squares, and the small plastic circle that the cloth bandages were previously wrapped around. Roxas turned to look at Xigbar, who hadn't appeared to wake up despite glass was pulled from him, frowning. He knew something bad had happened, and he had a feeling that the sniper's wounds weren't caused by a Heartless. It was also strange that he was gone the entire day as well. His blue eyes briefly looked Xigbar over, stopping when he saw what looked like dried blood on the inside of the man's left thigh; he thought about examining closer but that was close to the man's crotch and he shouldn't touch anywhere near that area. The fact that the blood was inside of the man's thigh was suspicious but maybe it had just ran down from his chest. He wondered why Xigbar was talking in his sleep, and about what. When he asked Xigbar whether he dreamed or if he had nightmares, the sniper always answered that he didn't, yet he was now. Maybe the dreams were too private or this was just the first time he had; it certainly seemed like a nightmare to Roxas. Slowly, the Keyblade wielder stepped over to the nightstand where a mission report folder rested, and he thought he might leave Xigbar a short note. A piece of paper was plucked from inside the folder, and Roxas found a green pencil under said nightstand. He didn't have a lot of room on the small table but the blond managed to write out a short note explaining that he bandaged Xigbar up and disposed of the towels; he thought about asking if he could talk to him later, but he figured that he would just check on Xigbar tomorrow after the man woke up. He left the note on the nightstand, pencil on top of the paper.

Roxas let himself look at Xigbar again, watching the man twitch and clench his teeth in his sleep, appearing to be distressed by some internal pain. He sighed, figuring he could clean up the bathroom, but he was sleepy and confused, and he wanted to go back to bed. His blood covered gloves came off and he just held them by the non-bloodied section. He almost didn't know what to think, just hoping that Xigbar would be alright. He didn't want the sniper to slip when he got up, so he looked around for something he might use to soak up the water, seeing a third towel in the corner across from him that he hadn't noticed. Roxas walked over and used his foot to guide it to the water, quickly cleaning it up before laying it the now wet towel on table near Xigbar's bed. With a deep sigh, Roxas figured he would use a portal to get to his room. The oily black and purple Corridor of Darkness opened and Roxas gave Xigbar a worried glance before he stepped through into his own room, greeted by deep blue walls and the sight of his bed.

He placed his gloves on his nightstand, flopping down into his disheveled bed, pulling the blankets and comforter up to his neck, snuggling into them as he closed his eyes; he was greeted by the sight of a wounded Xigbar as he lay there, room bathed in a suddenly eerie silence except for his quiet breathing. Worry and confusion was swimming around in his head, and Roxas couldn't deny how concerned he was with Xigbar. Should he ask Axel about it? Axel was his best friend and quite knowledgeable, he might know how what to do... Roxas realized he didn't even know what the problem was, so how could he get Xigbar help? Maybe it was just a Heartless and Xigbar was either embarrassed or too exhausted to go get help, though that didn't explain why the sniper punched the mirror or the bizarre injury on his chest. He had a feeling deeply settled in his gut that whatever happened was terrible and much more than just a simple Heartless. When he thought about it, he didn't know a lot about Xigbar besides what the sniper told him, and that was very little. Xigbar never seemed to talk about if he dreamed, how he lost his eye or got that scar, what that strangely shaped scar Roxas saw on his shoulder one time, or his past.. but then again, they never talked to each other.

Everything about it was confusing and sent Roxas into another round of questions without answers, not to mention he had been having strange dreams lately; none of it made any sense to him. He tried not to focus on Xigbar but rather on going to sleep, knowing he couldn't do anything until the sniper was awake. With a yawn, Roxas eventually drifted to sleep, images of the bathroom and Xigbar fluttering in and out of his mind like a bird returning to it's nest.

II~XIII~II~XIII

WOO. There we go. Chapter one is done. Chapter 2 shall be worked upon after I update AFTC and possibly PTWDTDR.

OH YEAH. Flames will be used to heat up my chocolate and also for heating any other food items. Trust me, I have some chocolate standing by, .


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